Yentle and Jade

DISCLAIMER; POSSIBLE TRIGGERING ANSWER. ALWAYS KNOW YOURE NOT ALONE AND THERE ARE SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINES FOR EVERY COUNTRY.

Well here I go. When we were both 14 my girlfriend and I were done with life. We both had very abusive parents, i was bullied so often because I skipped 3 classes by that point and was sitting around 17 year olds graduating with me. She was bullied so bad as well.

We decided that we were gonna go and leave this world. Together hugging giving a kiss and hopefully be blessed enough and enter an amazing place together filled with all we ever wanted, love. We even practiced. Set a date.

Then 1 week before I got a message at 6am that she had her worst night ever and couldn’t take it anymore. She wrote she loved me (I’m actually still crying atm) and was hoping I would read it in time so I could join her. I missed that message.

Later at school her suicide was announced and I went home completely destroyed debating whether to do the same or not. But I was scared alone. And I was in shock.

When I got home I saw the message and broke down. I was done for. Filled with guilt of not reading it in time, filled with anxiety of her being anxious, so mad at myself. I didn’t say anything to anybody for a long time but I knew I was in for therapy probably forever. Yentl I love you still and I’ve got that silly drawing on me now so I carry you with me. ❤️

Thank you Jade

Posted and written by

Toni

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