Why woman make themselves Attractive

Question:

Why do straight women who put on makeup and dress to attract attention consider it disrespectful when they get attention?

Answer

The answer to this should be obvious by now, as women have been shouting it into the sky and back for years and years. First of all, not every woman who dresses nicely, puts on makeup, or otherwise takes pride in her appearance is doing it because she’s hoping it will attract attention from other people.

I don’t wear makeup or dress up every day. But when I do those things, I’m doing them primarily to suit myself. It feels good to look on the outside like I feel on the inside — like a bad bitch who’s ready to make the most of her day. Sure, it’s always nice when other people like what I’ve done with myself and actually know how to pay a respectful compliment. But that’s not why I did it in the first place. I take pride in how I present myself to the rest of the world, is all, just like anyone else.

And when I do dress up or put in some extra effort with other people in mind? It’s usually people I know and care about, not total strangers. For example, I like to look nice for my husband or to meet up with friends and loved ones. It doesn’t mean I’m putting myself out there for public consumption by anyone and everyone.

Second, there’s a big difference between attention and a sexual advance. And sadly, that seems to be what most people really mean when they complain about a woman’s lack of receptiveness to “attention.”

That said, many women are open to attention. What they’re not open to is every type of attention from absolutely everyone under every possible circumstance. If we do consider someone’s attention disrespectful, it’s probably because it was disrespectful. For example:

Yelling at us on the streets or from out of your car

Making weird sexual comments about our bodies or the way we’re dressed

Thinking we owe you something in exchange for a compliment — our phone numbers, our time, reciprocal attention beyond a simple “thank you”, etc.

Interrupting us while we’re doing something else because you need to let us know how you feel about how we look

Approaching us or commenting on our appearance in situations where it’s just not appropriate (like at work)

A good rule of thumb to follow is usually to picture how you would feel if somebody else approached your girlfriend, mother, sister, or daughter and gave her the type of “attention” you’re thinking of giving some poor woman you don’t know. If you’d be pissed off or offended on her behalf, maybe rethink it.

Toni

The Shackz Emotional Support Helpline

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