The most effective way to see a person's true personality
Observe them under pressure.
Give them a lot of power and responsibility.
Use dislocated expectations. I learned this in the military. Place someone under enormous pressure and tell them that it’s over and done with as soon as they reach a certain mile point. Just after they’ve reached that mile point and they feel exhausted but all warm and fuzzy because, well, it’s over, tell them they’ve immediately got to complete something else that sucks big time.Take note of their reaction.
Sparr or roll with them. I’ve learned so much about peoples’s true personality by punching them in the face, choking them and getting punched and choked by them (see points 1 & 2). Will they get irrationally angry? Will they take an “L”? Are they overly malicious in sparring? Are they sparring to learn, or to win at any cost?
Never trust words alone. Look at what they say they’re going to do. Then observe closely if they’ll do what they promised. Never trust words alone.
Can they keep an appointment?
Ask them for help and see if they even show up.
Lend them money and see if they return it, without you having to remind them. Say you lend someone R20 and they never give it back to you. That’s R20 very well spent.
GIve them compliments. Flatter them even. Do they play their accomplishments down and show genuine humbleness? Or do they revel in pride and gas up as hell?
Do they take repsonsibilty for their life or look for blame on every corner?
“Don’t hate the player. Hate the game!” Be careful if they say that. They see the world as a dangerous place, in which people are out to get them, so they must only be concerned with themselves.
See how they behave drunk or high. Do they get aggressive? Overly emotional? Do they hit on everything that moves? They’ve got underlying issues, too deep to get entangled with.
Who are their idols? Who do they look up to?
What books do they read? Do they even read at all?
As within, so without. Look at their physique. Are they fat? Are they under-muscled? If they’re NOT sick or have underlying medical conditions preventing them from exercising and watching their diet, then they lack discipline and foresight.
How do they treat animals? How do they treat children?
How do they talk to staff, waiters or personel?
How do they talk about the other sex? Do they idiolise or demonise? Be weary of both.
With all of that said, it’s important that you stay compassionate toward others. Even if some people are unreliable, undisciplined, overly-emotional dickheads.
If you judge others too harshly, you’ll end up seeing the world and people as a dark, malicious, egotistical and ultimately a place of great danger. You’ll start running around with a poisoned heart. And from a poisoned heart, come poisened thoughts and actions. Yes, that sounds like woo-woo, hippy shit, but it’s 100% true.
Stay loving and open hearted, but also realistic and pragmatic.
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