The Cape Flats Chronicles

MOTHER VS DAUGHTER

This story is as real as can be. It was not edited this is the live of an grown woman still struggling with her demons past. And what is breaking my heart the more I get to deal with people in the Cape Flats the more I see the chain from Mother to daughter being sexually abused by their own family to scared to talk so they keep quiet and their daughters one day will keep quiet. This is just one story of hundreds. When is the woman going to stand up and say NO MORE... Are you willing to break the chain of abuse??

Toni

"I was only 4 but I still remember it all, I lived with my parents and my siblings on the cape flats, my father worked away and I was basically alone with my mother and siblings , a male figure moved in as he was supposed to help my mom and protect us as she was alone with us at night, when my dad returned I was sent to my bedroom and shared it with the apparent protector, he waited for parents bedroom door to close he then crawled into my bed, first few nights he touched me innapropiate then following night he raped me, I felt a tear and pain then blood, I could not scream for help his hand was covering my mouth, it continued for a period of time, I told my mother she suggested I do not tell my father because it would cause trouble in the house, eventually he moved out and my parents were in the process of building a house, I innocently did that was instructed I took the water to the builder and he pulled in too a secluded corner of the building and had his hand in my panties, he spoke a language I did not understand, well known as isisxhosa today, I was confused and started feeling a deep hollow feeling in my chest but I carried on, same season my mother sent me too. Neighbour and I was left alone with her husband he came up too me and had his tongue in my mouth, pulled back when he heared his wife coming, I told my mom she said she would speak to him. My father drank and got aggressive he beat my mother then left, I was asleep in her arms he came home and undressed her she asked him not to and he slapped her he then raped her while I was in her arm pretending to be asleep, time passed and it continued, there was a morning he woke up thinking his wife is asleep next to him and he penetrated me I was scared I felt anxious and the deep dark feeling in my chest got deeper, 11 years old I started experiencing excruciating pain in my limbs it became unbearable, doctors could not diagnose, I had the surgeries, Mri, ct a scans, lumber lunches, neurologist, shock therapy, biopsies the whole package eventually it was decided a psychiatric would step in, I was asked if I am being abused, I said no I remembered what my mother told me keep quiet it's going to cause trouble in the family a Dr Shapiro from the UK arrived and worked closely with the physio trying to solve the mystery, my parents were called in, medical wanted to send me to a psychiatric hospital my father refused court order was taken out and I was sent away, time passed and I returned home, I had a hospital app and my mother was not able to take me she asked her brother and he took me returning home he stopped by his house said he wants to show me a project he was working on opend the garage and I saw a mattress, we went in and he told me he and his wife does not have sex anymore and they do not get along he wants to prepare me for when I do have sex one day, he took my walking aid and carried me to the mattress layed me down and pulled his slacks down , I panicked, it was the first time I had seen a grown man undressed and I did not know what to expect, he had his mouth over mine raped me told me too count until 5 and I won't feel any pain I was scared so I did what was expected, he asked me what am I going to do when he tells my mom what I asked him to do, I feared he tell her. I felt ashamed and dirty and just wanted to die, age 12-13 my father returned and he befriended my moms brother they got drunk and came in too my bedroom and raped they took turns, at night my dad was alone I wanted it over he came and raped me at night I would scream for help call for my mother she came with tears in her eyes and closed my room door and waited for me to clean my body, it was confirmed I was pregnant, I was given boiled brandy to sip on and placed in a warm bath pressure was applied and portions of blood clots was dispelled, the rape , 16 years old I got involved with a school teacher and found comfort in him, we got close and traded sex for meth, break times we would have sex in the schools lab and after school he gave me a hit, I got pregnant and told him he said his not leaving his wife for me and I must lose all contact with him his wife came looking for me I had too flee, I told my mother that I was pregnant she said I must leave her house and find my own way, I ended up in sea point park, pregnant, homeless and had a drug addiction, I had to survive I started selling my pregnant body and got involved with gangsterism, at that time I cared about nobody I wanted a hit and 8 needed money to get it, prostitution was how I survived, had my baby wanted to return to my mother or leave the child by her she said no I must go, we returned back to the park and that is where we stayed, I got involved with a guy from a gang I started diamond running, robbing people, waited for a train to stop by station, I remember I got frustrated with a lady I pulled a knife out on her and took her bag, opened the bag and her insulin was in there and a hundred rand, I felt nothing I wanted too get high, night time I hid my baby in the bushes and went to the corners waiting for a guy to pick me up take me too the closest secluded area I get high return to my bgy but she was not there, my bf took her and he started looking after her and he wanted to build a life with me,

We got married and he changed started beating me and cheating, it was confirmed I was pregnant again, my husband got drunk I waited outside for him with my daughter and he gambled me away, 5 men came up too me said my husband lost the game and I have to follow them my baby was taken too another room and I was thrown on a pool table, two men pinned my arms down one rubbing my pregnant belly and other two removed my Jean and a pool stick was shoved but not deep, all 5 took turns too rape me I screamed for my husband but he passed out from alcohol consumption, once gain I was dirty I walked home with my daughter, i was hurting and I wanted a hit

I had bby number 2 we decided we going to live a more stable life but struggled financially he got a job and we were stable, until I ran away and I started using again he fetched me and we just carried on, we moved to rustenburg and I could not adjust to being a mother and wife and running a house I ran away with my daughter hiked from jhb too cape Town selling my body as fair too the truck drivers, my husband followed me after a month and started cheating again and beating me, I was pregnant again and things calmed down, we decided to make a sacrifice and sell all we have and moved to the north west with 600 hundred rand, settled down but I attended a funeral in cape Town and met up with my past, I met old friends and got hooked again and ended up back in too prostitution and once again my husband fetched me and now I am living a life whrre I get beaten because I wear a panty, I get beaten because he had a bad day, I get thrown too the ground because I did not ask his permission to leave the house, I am scared to sleep at night because he rapes me, I get thrown with keys, cereal boxes if his in a rush, I ask myself why do I stay and only answer that comes to mind is that I love him"

I pray your story makes a difference in someone's life. But most of all I pray for your safety. Thank you for trusting me enough to share your story.

Toni

The Shackz

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