SUPPORTING SOMEONE WITH DOMESTIC ABUSE
When at first confronted by the idea of Domestic Violence by someone close to you. Your first reaction will be shock, disbelief and guilt. Simply because most Domestic Violence occur behind closed doors. And the abused don't talk they keep quiet both men and woman, embarrassed, fear, even guilt make them numb.
But there is things you can do to support the person.
What is Domestic Violence???
Domestic Violence is when one person in a relationship hurts the other. (it doesn't have to happen at home). The violence and abuse can be physical, verbal, sexual, social, economic, spiritual and psychological.
How can I help??
Take the time to listen!! It's important to the person that you believe them and take their fears seriously. They are experiencing feelings of guilt, shame, and yes loneliness!! By simply sharing they don't only trust you they are reducing their feelings f issolation.
It's not their fault!!
Keep on reminding the person that it's not their fault. There is NO EXCUSE for someone to be violent and abusive. Remember they are convinced it's their own fault, they deserve what"s happening to them...
Giving your time and care is helpful. Don't under estimate the value of your support. It can lead to their first step of getting help.
Suggest they should reach out to an organization who has the expertise to help them. You can help the victim research the options. Go with them. And most importantly CHECK UP ON THEM!!!
Don't Force them
From the outside you may think the obvious answer is to leave but the victim may find it difficult to leave for a wide variety of reasons. So when you are discussing their options, they need to feel in control of the next steps. It's imperative for them to take their control back....
Create a Safety Plan
If they aren't ready to leave. Help them develop a safety plan or Download The Reminder App on their phone. Consider the following questions :
When will the safety plan be activated??
Where will they go??
What will they take with them??
Who needs to be told when the plan is activated??
Organizations that can help South Africa
FAMSA 011 975 7101
LIFELINE 0861 322 322
POWA 083 765 1235
RAPE CRISES 011642 4345
FREDA HARTLEY SHELTER 011 648 6005
GRACE HELP CENTRE 014 574 3476/072 348 6526
CHAT SHACK 083 651 3729
Remember two fact of life. Other people's books of life is obscure. You don't know what's happening in their life's. Men can be a victim as well Be Safe T💋