Reflections

Hannelie's story


Im afraid this week I didnt write anything. It has been a bad week for me, emotionally, and mentally. Ive been going through so many mixed emotions. Depression, anger, bitterness, feeling heartsore. And just totally not myself.

Ive had so many questions. Like why now?

The depression was so bad that I didnt even want to get out of bed. I just wanted to be left alone. I didnt want to see nobody nor talk to nobody.

I had fights with God, how could this happen!? AGAIN after all Ive been through the 1st two times. When does it stop.

Im tired in my soul, in my body I am just so tired of it all.

I feel so worn out some days, as though it is really a strain just to cope for one hour let alone a whole day, and still deal with the problems in the shelter. Cant I just run away to some island and just hide there, away from all the anamosity and complaining and fighting.

My head hurts most of the time, my bloodpressure is unstable and sometimes so high that Im afraid I might have a stroke, again. Its scary thoughts. You pretend you're fine and honky dory, yet inside you're falling apart.

So to all the other warriors out there. I know how you feel. And its not nice.😉

Hannelie


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