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Question by Deter for Toni

How do you deal with a narcissist person when you are an empath?

Excellent question,


The relationship between an empath and a narcissist can be described as parasitic at best in that the narcissist will seek to control, manipulate, and completely exhaust an empath. When an empath and narcissist begin a relationship there is typically a strong almost magnetic formation, however, the relationship will gradually become dysfunctional as the empath continues to give themselves to the narcissist. Accordingly,the narcissist turn will happily take (almost in a consuming like manner) without reciprocating the same level of devotion or selflessness.

It is important to remember that empaths are driven by a selfless like compassion as they tune into the energy and emotions of those around them. As a result, empaths feel deeply and passionately which this often positions them within the role of rescuer.

The most effective way an empath can cope/ deal with a narcissist is through taking intermittent time-out for themselves as well as withdrawing the sources of 'supply' which a narcissist will have come to expect and exploit. Additionally, on empath will need to set firm boundaries and actually name any negative and toxic behaviours that arise from the narcissist. Successfully dealing and Coping witha narcissist becomes more effective when an empath is able to proverbially 'fly-beneath-the-radar'and as such avoid becoming thefocus of conversationmel attention, as narcissist enjoy and even excel at gossip mongering. Perhaps one of the most useful and effective ways of dealing with a narcissist is to develop a flat out refusal to take the bait which means that the provocations of the narcissist (including their taunts)lose argumentative potential and traction.

As Carl Jung stated "one does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious", In other words, It is when the hidden, and previously ignored or tolerated toxic behaviours of the narcissist are brought through to the conscious that an empath is more suitably positioned to process the pain the narcissist has caused and as such facilitate the process of healing.

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