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Living in Darkness

Living in the darkness

Let me tell you what my life is?

Ignoring phone calls from society

My girl calling... asking if I could give her more of me

I'm missing me... so how come she thinks i could offer more of me

All i can be is stray from what life is trying to offer me

I'm losing hope, falling out of touch with reality

The shit is real, yet unreal, somebody pray for me

My life is still, they kill, everything that I try to be

I then heal, and rebuild all that they took from me

Nah... but these devils never get tired of me

They told me that we fam, they will never ever get bored of me

We're linked by dna, we are blood, they live inside of me

With me when i wake up, nothing will take them away from me

Anxiety... its a reality (Its a reality yeah)

Depression King... a reality (Its a reality, reality... yeah)

Let me tell you what my life is...

Trying to fit in and fighting these nightmares

Suicide, panic and fear but no one out cares

Death and I debate about ways to meet the man upstairs

Walls closing in... the world is small and there is no air

Chest pains within... you drown in thoughts and your own tears

Defeat setting in... to fail is all that you know now

Repeat that again... to fail becomes your new norm now

It plays yet again... till you numb down to your core now

Bra... you start to think of a way out

These demons in your mind are enticing you with a new life

Promising peace of mind, serenity with your own kind

The trade is pretty simple, they will give you that for your own life

Depression... its a reality (Its a reality yeah)

Anxiety... that shit is a reality (Its a reality, reality yeah)

Depression King... a reality (Its a, reality... yeah)

Anxiety... a reality (Its a reality, reality yeah)

So how exactly do you cope with it...

Depression feels like you are falling into a deep and dark hole

Every second and every day, it just gets worse and gets darker

So you have no idea why people are not helping you

Why cant they see that you are not the same person that you normally are

You know you feel empty and really hollow

Like your body exists just to carry you dead soul

You know, eventually you cant tell the difference between

Reality and the place that you are stuck in

And.. you just want to make it stop

You really just want to make it stop

But you cant make it stop

And nobody can make it stop on your behalf

Cause in most cases nobody even knows

That you are suffering you know

So... the cycle just continues

And everyday gets worse and it gets darker and gets worse

Its more like anxiety as well for me

Just feels like I'm drowning

Feels like I'm drowning in my own thoughts

In my own fears and in my worries

And the more that I drown is the more

That i worry about the fact that Im drowning

And.. i think at the end of the day

All you wanna do is just make it stop

Which is why some coping mechanisms

Are more destructive than others

Hence you should choose wisely

But for me I feel like i have through very destructive coping mechanisms

I have been through... even trying to, just trying to

Make it stop, you know, everything, overall

But i am still here and...

What I do now is i just try to you know

Do more acts of self care

You try... to run and drink more water

I meditate... you know, I read, anything to

Keep myself in the present moment

And not wandering, to keep my mind from wandering you know

And... wow... for me, i think, i think what has helped me the most

In the past past few years would definitely be painting

Especially painting cause i feel like at that time

I get to empty whatever is going on in my mind

And i put it on something that is more visual

Something more tangible

Makes me feel better, i draw a lot

And the one thing, the one thing

That has really kept me going for years

And i mean years and it really resonates for me

That is music

I feel like, you know, I feel like i am not alone

Not necessarily in human sense, just

In universe sense, i feel like

It really gets me...

Music gets me...

And i am really grateful for it

I, I am grateful for art

Learning to be grateful for life

But... Its a process, its a process...


The Shackz

Emotional Support Line

WhatsApp Groups


083 651 3729

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