Why do we lash out.
As humans we all hurt at some point in time. And most of the times we cope reasonably well with our hurt. But there are also times we can do nothing about our hurt, like losing a loved one, getting diagnosed with a terminal illness, having a life partner leave us(often without any explanation) or any other number of bad things that happen to ppl that do not deserve that hurt. And because that hurt is beyond our control it often turns into anger and rage. Anger is also part of the normal process of grieving. So no we are angry with no way of being in control of our anger. Then someone comes along (mostly meaning well) and says something that we latch onto as a reason or justification to attack them. This person then becomes like a lightning protector. All our pent-up rage is thrown at them. And mostly they have no clue what it is about. They
feel they are getting punished for wanting to help. And if they have issues of their own it is easy for their own issues to become worse because of our blind anger.
So how to deal with this: If we are in that space where we feel that anger it is only fair to tell ppl who approach us that we are not in a good space and will talk when we ready.
If we are on the recieving end it is important to recognise that we did nothing wrong and hence should not take anything personally, even words sounding very personal. Because those words are probably not really meant. They are just not well thought through.
As written by