Is This Love

She watches as the time slowly tick on. She fears it yet wishes it could go faster. She loves him want to know his safe, yet fear the beating she's going to get if gets out of the car in a bad mood. The children are bathed and watching a movie as the clock ticks loudly the minutes away. Silently she prays God please not tonight I am still healing from the previous reprimand. She smoothes out her dress no panties just as he told her. Her stomach a ball of raw nerves. The silent prayer still in her broken heart. She hears the front gate open and strains to hear. She hear him swear the stupid dog and the distinctive cling of bottles. Heart racing she rushes down the hallway. And very sternly she tells the kids do not come out, daddy didn't have a good day. You stay here no matter what you hear. I will be back for you just stay here. The little one come running to her grab her legs and with a tight hug tells her,mommy I love you.. Her time is running out she has to be in the kitchen. So she breaks free from the little arms and with a last stern warning to stay in the TV room she rushes back to meet her lover the father of her kids the man she both feared and love...

The man who can be so charming yet rip her soul apart with his words the man whose hands can caress yet with one slap or punch can bring her down to the ground and kick her as she keeps the cries inside her praying the kids stays.. Wondering with every blow that falls am I really this stupid, I why did I ask if he remembered to take his medication. And with every blow the thought why comes up...

As she drags herself to the bathroom she hears the kids laughing at his jokes. She sits thinking how many times she saw her mom do the same. And as hysterical sobs gets cried out into a towel she thinks of her kids What is she teaching her kids? She is busy making the circle bigger? By showing her son it's okay to beat up your wife every time you get drunk or had a bad day.

And her daughters to hide it in the bathroom sreamin their pain and humiliation into a towel

Or

Is se going to be able to stop this vicious circle of abuse from parents to children. But she feels small no strength how can she stop this from happening.

She loves him...

Toni

The Shackz

Survivors

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