HOW TO STOP ENABLING

If any of the previous post (Are you an enabler)signs seems familiar to patterns that have developed in your relationship... Then these suggestions can HELP empower your love one. * Bring attention to the issue Make it clear you are aware of the pattern of their behavior. Be compassionate but make clear it clear that you aren't going to allow their behavior to be okay anymore... * Confronting your loved one It can help them realize you don't support their behavior. While also letting them know you are willing to help them work toward change. But won't fall for their stories. * Encourage them to get help They might not agree to treatment right away, so keep on mentioning it . Work with your own therapist to explore positive ways to bring up treatments that are right for your situation. * Set your boundaries and uphold them State that you will help them, but not in a enabling way. You might offer a rides to appointments but not give the car to them. REMEMBER it's okay to say "NO". They are going to lash out towards you. But it's essential for recovery. And remember the consequences to crossed boundaries. ALWAYS REMEMBER THE CONSEQUENCES * Try therapy for yourself. You have been in an abusive relationship. You have to make peace with yourself for enabling the behavior for that period of time. You have to look for ways to handle their patterns differently. * You are going to deal with a lot of resistance. Not only from the enabled but family and friends. they aren't use to you saying "NO" and will not always understand your response to the said behavior. Stay calm and remember you are the one in the situation not them. IT'S EASY TO FAULT FIND FROM A FAR.... STAY STRONG T

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