Alone or lonely: Part 2.



In part one I highlighted the difference between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness tends to be negative, sad and not beneficial to our sense of self-worth. It is also not always our choice, because circumstances force us into lonliness. Solitude, on the other hand, is often a choice. In solitude we find the time and space to clear our heads, to decide the best way forward with a clear mind.

In part two I will try explain why it is not healthy to need another person to feel complete.

Under ideal conditions the only person to determine our own self-worth should be myself. Without taking account of the opinions of people that want to manipulate me for their own agendas.

But oftentimes we tend to believe we are bad because we made a mistake in someones opinion. Or someone blocked us on social media. Or "friends" stop visiting, or calling, or sending e-mails. And when this happens our first reaction is to chase after them, kissing butt to get in their good books again. But what if the "reason" for shunning us, the "mistake" we made, is only a reason or mistake in their opinion? What if it makes no big difference if I have Tom, Sue or Ethel in my life. Because Tom and Sue and Ethel do not have to live with the consequences of choices they advise me or force or influence me to make. I am soul owner and victim of those consequences.

Therefore take stock of your life. Make changes if needs be. Set boundaries for your own safety and sanity. Become emotionally independant of people that have agendas not good for you. And we can all identify them after the first time we get into a shitpile they are instrumental in. So stop self-blaming, get used to being enough for yourself on your own, and grow.

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Mike

+27 66 556 9007

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