It's Christmas Eve. For most a time of joy and peace. For others realization that the empty spaces is real... Then you get the one's that lives in fear because maybe they bought the wrong present maybe there's to much food or to little, no matter what they do something will be wrong. Then you get the last group the loners, the ones without family that stays in shelters afraid of their own shadows. Tonight they sit with cellphone in hand wondering if they should reach out say Merry Christmas. How will their message be received.? Others just sitting idlely playing with their phones. No one to reach out to no one who cares enough to want a message from them. Sitting alone in a flat house shelter just being alone. Hearing neighbour's laugh smelling their dishes they are busy preparing. Hearing the kids laugh playing games the deep throated laugh of the men as they catch up with one another, the soft voices of the woman in the kitchen.
And reality hits hard "I am alone" and as you look around everything seems grey. No Christmas tree no twinkling lights just the TV light changing color as the movie carry on. And the shadows seems to reach for you pull you into dispear and you wonder how did this happen.
You remember Christmas with the family when you still knew how to laugh, when you still had a reason to laugh. The days when I love you came without i am sorry I won't hit you again. When the i love you meant just that. Or the days you still believed you are nothing more than you are, you will never be as good as the others in the family, you are a outcast forever alone...
And the shadows take over. Your loneliness streaming down your face.
You are to embarrassed to reach out so you stay in the shadows and let your loneliness be your companion
I am Toni and I am here to tell you. You aren't alone You do count no matter what you did
You can have a bright shining star on your Christmas tree Start believing in yourself and move mountains
Yes it is difficult but it can be done. Just don't stop believing in yourself this time around.
And to you reading this.
Merry Christmas my friend, you are powerful you are Beautiful and you are special just the way you are...
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